We were having dinner last week when my eldest boy, age 4, began playing with the head of the fried fish we were going to eat. Our normal response is to tell him not to play with food and that it will give him a tummy ache. He stopped, but only long enough to stuff his mouth with rice and fish. While chewing, he went back to molesting the fish head. I furrowed my brow, flared my nose, and tensed my lips to display to him my displeasure. Apparently, to a 4 year old, this means to keep going. So I silently asked the Lord to give me the right words.
I held his hand, looked in his eyes and said, "Lito, you must respect the food that you eat."
"Why Daddy?" he asked pulling his hand away.
"That fish gave up it's life so that we can have food in our tummies." Oh, I felt so proud of myself and I smiled a big happy smile.
"But why did the fish do that?" My smile soon vanished as I thought for an instant. I remembered the advice I had gotten at a parenting workshop; counter a "why" question with a "why" question of your own.
"Do you know why we pray before dinner?" I asked Lito. There was no answer. "We pray to thank God for providing this fish so that we can eat and be full and live." I see the wheels turning in his head as he nodded. For the rest of the dinner that night, the fish head lay in peace.
It must have worked because it's been a week and he has yet to abuse food on the table. Thank you Lord for giving me the right words and putting the right people in front of me. Now what to do with him using soo much toilet paper.
Aloha,
J.
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